Why I Shared my Son’s Picture

I hesitantly clicked the send button. I had just posted my first full picture of my son. Most new parents are excited to post a picture of their sleeping newborn, nestled in a cocoon of blankets. The image is often greeted with comments of, “Congratulations!” or “He’s so adorable. He’s got your eyes.” I knew that such Continue Reading …

Grieving as a Still Mother – It’s Not the Same

We’ve all had that moment; you tell someone that you don’t have living children and you hear “I completely understand, we lost our first one, too”. You feel an instant connection — finally, someone else who gets it! — but then they tell you how they have had more kids, Continue Reading …

Dear Grief Bully

To those who think I don’t still hurt, who feel my time mourning has an expiration date … To those that feel I should be “over it by now,” “moving on,” “writing about happier things,” “feeling better,” “snapping out of it”… To those who don’t understand why I celebrate and Continue Reading …

Christmas, Past and Present

This time last year, I was six months pregnant and celebrating my first Christmas as a Mom. Every ounce of me bubbling over with anticipation at the prospect of all the future family traditions and whimsical Christmas mornings we would experience with our little girl. The holidays had taken on Continue Reading …

Jasper’s Mom and Dad’s 5 Tips For Getting Through The Holiday Season

The Christmas of 2012 was our favorite and happiest Christmas to date. We had learned early in the month that we were finally expecting our first child. I was practically bed ridden with morning sickness and fatigue but I had no worries in the world. The gift theme was pretty Continue Reading …

Dear Friend

Dear Friend, Congratulations. Please understand that I am trying to be happy for you. Please understand that I wish you and your baby nothing but the best. Please know that I love you. But, please also understand that when you just announced your pregnancy, my heart literally hurt. Please know Continue Reading …

Maybe

Maybe you wanted a perfectly natural water birth with limited pain medication, and instead you had to face the disappointment of having medical intervention and giving birth in a bed…Please take a moment to imagine the extent of the disappointment of saying goodbye to all your hopes and dreams for Continue Reading …

The Girl With The Camera

There’s something special about taking someone’s photo. In some cultures, it’s so intimate they think the camera steals your soul. My goal as a photographer has always been to capture the sparkle in someone’s eyes, the laughter behind their grin. My best work used to be from chasing people and Continue Reading …

A New Schoolbag

This September my 6-year old goddaughter is starting school. She will attend a specific sports program, with training and lots of activities, I believe. Her mother kept me well informed about the preparation process, the selection of the proper school, gathering information, the entrance exam, and, now, the final steps Continue Reading …

Protecting My Heart on Father’s Day

When we lost Thomas, I knew we had suffered an enormous loss.  A loss that I cannot adequately describe in the English language.  I didn’t yet know that we would never be the same, that life would never be the same.  Things are forever divided, in my mind and heart, Continue Reading …

Thoughts on One Year of Still Mothers

lisa-mothersdaypost

One year ago, on May 10th, Still Mother’s went live. Our vision for a place to support all loss mothers with no living children came into being. Many months of hard work – writing, planning, creating, and designing – all came together in a lovely way, and we began on a Continue Reading …

Just a Day About Love

It’s coming…I can feel it. (Insert the threatening music here). I know it’s coming, I don’t need to look at the calendar for confirmation. My moods are all over the map, I’m sensitive and feeling things deeply. I swear, the woman at the bank with a stroller – she smirked Continue Reading …

Complicated Good-byes

Sometimes, three years after losing Thomas, I feel like I’m a walking, talking grief expert.  There are so many things that I don’t understand or know about – math, astronomy, chemistry, physics – all of those subjects I draw a blank. Grief, though…grief is sadly, very much in my wheelhouse. Continue Reading …

Tips for Dating a Still Mother

red flowers, grand canyon

The moment Addison’s father and I decided to go our different ways I realized how hard meeting someone else was going to really be. Dating is hard to begin with but here I am, forever attached to my ex, always talking about my baby, which is his baby too. It takes Continue Reading …

Almost a Full Year

raeanne-mothersdaypost

Another day Another week Another month Almost a full year without you Another quiet morning at home Another lunch date for two Another sleepless night Almost a full year of silence Another pregnancy announcement Another baby shower invitation Another birth announcement Almost a full year of constant tears Another abrupt Continue Reading …

Personal Trials at Work

Being at work can be a challenge as a Still Mother.  I manage a small sports therapy clinic, and overseeing the ins and outs keeps me pretty occupied. Most days I can just worry about regular office stuff, but occasionally some personal trials come up within my workday, one of which still throw Continue Reading …