Grieving as a Still Mother – It’s Not the Same

We’ve all had that moment; you tell someone that you don’t have living children and you hear “I completely understand, we lost our first one, too”. You feel an instant connection — finally, someone else who gets it! — but then they tell you how they have had more kids, Continue Reading …

Dear Me, I Have So Much To Tell You

There’s something that happens to a person when they survive trauma. For me, it was like someone snapped my neck and now I’m a quadriplegic. Suddenly I had an entire new perspective on the world I never asked for. It became even darker than before. Losing my daughter was, unfortunately, Continue Reading …

Maybe

Maybe you wanted a perfectly natural water birth with limited pain medication, and instead you had to face the disappointment of having medical intervention and giving birth in a bed…Please take a moment to imagine the extent of the disappointment of saying goodbye to all your hopes and dreams for Continue Reading …

Actively Mothering

I'm Guilty

A fellow still mother recently shared on our support group about an hurtful exchange that took place at the school she works at. As the staff was discussing children’s activities for this past Mother’s Day, one of her coworker assessed that only “actively mothering” women should be celebrated on Mother’s Day. In this Continue Reading …

This is Motherhood, Too

True to You

There is a trending tag in social media right now, #thisismotherhood. This tag is usually accompanied by photos of mothers with their children, and statuses describing one or many of the difficulties that comes with being a mother. While I think this is a great movement, I can’t help but Continue Reading …

Thoughts on One Year of Still Mothers

lisa-mothersdaypost

One year ago, on May 10th, Still Mother’s went live. Our vision for a place to support all loss mothers with no living children came into being. Many months of hard work – writing, planning, creating, and designing – all came together in a lovely way, and we began on a Continue Reading …

Just a Day About Love

It’s coming…I can feel it. (Insert the threatening music here). I know it’s coming, I don’t need to look at the calendar for confirmation. My moods are all over the map, I’m sensitive and feeling things deeply. I swear, the woman at the bank with a stroller – she smirked Continue Reading …

Tips for Dating a Still Mother

red flowers, grand canyon

The moment Addison’s father and I decided to go our different ways I realized how hard meeting someone else was going to really be. Dating is hard to begin with but here I am, forever attached to my ex, always talking about my baby, which is his baby too. It takes Continue Reading …

A Still Mothers Valentine’s Day

Today we celebrate the love we hold in our hearts for our precious children. A love that’s stronger than death; a love that never ends. On behalf of all of us here at Still Mothers, we wish you a gentle day filled with love and memories of the sweet little Continue Reading …

Reclaiming New Year’s Without My Babies

New Year’s is one of my favorite holidays. I love the sense of a fresh start, the chance to review the good and the bad of the previous year and consider what I want to create in the next year. Even though I know it’s an arbitrary date on a Continue Reading …

There is Comfort to be Found in Things

alex-mothersdaypost

There is comfort to be found in things, when memories are so volatile, fleeting, unattainable. My daughter lived for eleven months, yet it sometimes feels like a dream, and left me wondering whether it really happened. I can’t remember her unique smell, the facial expressions that were hers only, the Continue Reading …

I Am Guilty

I'm Guilty

I am guilty. I’m guilty of judging every woman who’s pregnant with ease. I’m guilty of holding my niece and wishing she was mine. I’m guilty of avoiding baby showers and birthday parties. I’m guilty of glaring at swollen bellies with hatred. I’m guilty of staring at babies around her age – Continue Reading …

Living While Grieving – The Real Meaning of Moving On

Living While Grieving - The Real Meaning of Moving On

If my daughter had lived, she would be 12 years old.  She would be dealing with the challenges of middle school girls, heading fast into her teenage years, figuring out who she is as a young person, and, if she was anything like her mother, determined to do everything her Continue Reading …

14 Things it is Okay to Do (Or Not Do) As a Still Mother

pink and blue carnations

When you are a Still Mother, there are many situations and circumstances that are VERY difficult. If you ever feel the need, it is okay to:     Unfollow or Hide a fellow baby loss mom when she becomes pregnant or gives birth to her healthy baby. Do various things Continue Reading …

The Conflicting Feelings of Mother’s Day

emily-mothersday-yellowflowers

Ah, Mother’s Day.  Hands down my least favorite holiday of the year. Mother’s Day has been an emotional challenge for me for years. Twelve years to be exact; every year since my first daughter was born still. I’ve handled it, and my grief around it, in various ways over the years. Continue Reading …

Honoring Your Motherhood as a Still Mother

raeanne-mothersdaypost

Well, it’s here: Mothers Day. Honestly, I believe it’s one of the hardest days for a loss mama to bear. It just hurts. Deeply. Everything about it is wrong. On one hand, we are mothers and deserve to have our motherhood honored just as much – actually, I’m just going Continue Reading …