He would have been a lion this year: curious, brave, and so cute. For his first Halloween, we would wait to have trick-or-treaters smile at him as we passed out candy on the porch. Their parents and I would exclaim how perfect each other’s kids’ costumes were. We would smile Continue Reading …
The relief. The utter relief of feeling joy. It can happen again. Sure, it was brief. But it was there. For the first time in more than three months, I felt okay. My heart stopped aching temporarily. I felt almost high on joy. It had been so long. Sure, I Continue Reading …
Beautiful Mother, I see you. I found you in one of those loss groups. I had been trolling the group for a while looking for anyone to whom I could connect. I desperately wanted to talk to another mother that had a similar story to mine. We found each other Continue Reading …
There’s something that happens to a person when they survive trauma. For me, it was like someone snapped my neck and now I’m a quadriplegic. Suddenly I had an entire new perspective on the world I never asked for. It became even darker than before. Losing my daughter was, unfortunately, Continue Reading …
Maybe you wanted a perfectly natural water birth with limited pain medication, and instead you had to face the disappointment of having medical intervention and giving birth in a bed…Please take a moment to imagine the extent of the disappointment of saying goodbye to all your hopes and dreams for Continue Reading …
I’m over half way through my graduate degree in marriage and family therapy. This is the path I’ve chosen to take as a result of losing our son. I credit my boy, Jasper, for moving me to help other people that are learning to navigate loss and the sort of Continue Reading …
I keep trying to write about receiving support after the death of our precious babies – how to ask for it, how to accept it, and the difficulties of both. Instead, I find myself crying and the words get jumbled up in my head. If I had any Achilles Heel Continue Reading …
I have always been a person who loves to learn. I was a nerdy child who looked forward to the first day of school with eager anticipation. Although anxious about who was going to be in my classes, I also always looked forward to a year of new experiences and Continue Reading …
I ran into you at the post office. We did that awkward shuffle thing where neither one of us really know where to go, but we got around. I asked how you were doing and I saw the horror in your face. The memories of the baby class we both Continue Reading …
I’ve seen us on Facebook. There are a few of us out there who, for whatever reason, were not present to greet our babies. The mothers who didn’t get to say Hello, or Goodbye. I gave birth while in a medicated coma. Thomas entered the world and I was not there Continue Reading …
There is enough struggle in grief without having expectations on where you “should be”. The idea we need to be “happier”, “better”, “to move on” or – at times – to be sadder does not support us in our grief, but rather brings up feelings of guilt and shame. You Continue Reading …
There’s a cedar hope chest sitting in our bedroom. It’s placed safely at the foot of the bed. A stranger walking by could cast it off merely as a decorative note in our home. They might take notice how carefully crafted it is, simple and elegant in its design, or Continue Reading …
