To those who think I don’t still hurt, who feel my time mourning has an expiration date … To those that feel I should be “over it by now,” “moving on,” “writing about happier things,” “feeling better,” “snapping out of it”… To those who don’t understand why I celebrate and Continue Reading …
There are some days when I just feel so trapped. I’m stuck here in this life, not really wanting to live, but unable to find a way out. There are days when I just don’t know how to deal with the pain. I feel like I should be able to Continue Reading …
Usually I am okay and can function daily with no issues. But since becoming a loss mom I have realized that there are always going to be unexpected reminders of that loss. I have realized that I will be reminded of losing my daughter daily from things that should remind Continue Reading …
As a loss mom, unfortunately, there’s not too much that people ask me to share about my daughter. I certainly don’t have as many memories to share as other women whom have living children, but the precious moments I do have will last me a lifetime, and I love to Continue Reading …
February 16, 2013 was the day that we found out that Jasper was a boy. We were exactly 14 weeks along and that was the soonest that this high tech, 3D/4D ultrasound place would guarantee the gender on a scan. We had already booked the day, well in advance. We Continue Reading …
Last year on Valentine’s Day, I was gifted by waking up with Jensen rolling around in my belly. In the evening, his father and I went to dinner and I was given beautiful flowers, a loving card, and a coloring book. We talked about how much fun it would be Continue Reading …
This is part II of II posts on separation and love after loss. Read part I here. When autumn came, I started working and we started fighting. Like, all the time. We blamed each other for petty and terrible things alike. He couldn’t stand me. I despised him. He felt Continue Reading …
This is Part I of II posts on separation and love after loss. Please come back Wednesday to read the second part. We weren’t married, Soley’s dad and I. We wanted to be married, and we had everything — a ring, a date, and a venue — but then we had Continue Reading …
Dear William, As I write this, I listen to the sound of wind chimes outside my door. I like to believe that your spirit is in the wind, causing the melodic tinkling that bursts forth from the chimes. By rippling through the chimes, you let me know that you are close. As I lay awake Continue Reading …
I have always avoided amusement parks. All the spinning and rising and falling rides made me anxious just looking at them. I had no desire to get on-board. A few times I allowed myself to be talked into it and every time I regretted it. I hated the anticipation on Continue Reading …
