By Clare Hedges I was scrolling through my phone at the end of May and saw an advertisement that gave me that sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach. The advertisement was for Father’s day cards. Another brutal reminder that life is not as it should be. In most Continue Reading …
This one is for the fathers of our children. The ones that were there for us through our pregnancies, our tears, our grief, our surgeries. The men that picked us back up when our worlds fell apart. This is for the fathers of our children who far too often go Continue Reading …
(Editor’s Note: This article does touch on termination for medical reasons and religious talk of seeing your child again; if these are sensitive topics for you, please read with caution) Dear Maya, You don’t know me because we never met, but I know who are; or who you were supposed Continue Reading …
People ask him how I am all the time. They send me wishes and love, and grieve with me. But what about him? He goes to work and he smiles. He impresses the boss each day. But when he sits alone with his headphones on, they think he’s just working Continue Reading …
A non-profit organization that I work with held their 7th annual Footprints On Our Hearts Walk To Remember the weekend of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. My husband and I had never attended a walk for our son before. It was an extremely emotional but comforting experience for us. Continue Reading …
You hear many things about grief – “it comes and goes in waves”, “there’s no wrong way to grieve” and “everyone grieves differently”. In my experience, these are all true, but the last one was incredibly real after the loss of my daughter. What do you do when you’re not Continue Reading …
Here I sit, reflecting on this day last month; another Independence Day come and gone. The 4th of July was very surreal for us last year. Elijah had been laid to rest on June 30th. Just days later, we found ourselves sitting in a park that coincidentally overlooks the same Continue Reading …
Father’s Day is the hardest day of the year for me. Harder than my wife’s expected due dates that pass by with achingly empty arms. Harder than the anniversaries of the long awaited positive pregnancy test. Harder than the anniversary of finally getting to hear a heartbeat. Harder even than Continue Reading …
Nearly three years ago… I can remember the exact moment my wife told me the news I waited my whole life to hear…..I’M GOING TO BE A DAD! This news can bring out a flood of emotions; for me it was nothing but excitement! I was finally going to be Continue Reading …
The Christmas of 2012 was our favorite and happiest Christmas to date. We had learned early in the month that we were finally expecting our first child. I was practically bed ridden with morning sickness and fatigue but I had no worries in the world. The gift theme was pretty Continue Reading …
When we lost Thomas, I knew we had suffered an enormous loss. A loss that I cannot adequately describe in the English language. I didn’t yet know that we would never be the same, that life would never be the same. Things are forever divided, in my mind and heart, Continue Reading …
My bedside table overflows with books on grief and baby loss, tissues, and cold tea from the night before. They each comfort me before I have the task of making myself fall asleep. As I walk over to my boyfriend’s side of the bed, I’m surprised to see what’s on Continue Reading …
My husband recently brought to my attention that as a loss father, years in, there are things in his day to day life that still catch him off guard. I asked him if he would care to elaborate, and the first words out of his mouth were this: Teenage Mutant Ninja Continue Reading …
This post is part of a multi-part series regarding moving forward with life after loss and the struggles of the reintroduction to “normal life.” The focus of these posts is being prepared and coping with the things that will come as we resume our day to day lives and return Continue Reading …
When you lose your baby, one of the hardest unforeseen difficulties is life after the loss. You know that deep down your life will be different and you know that things will change, but what you don’t think about right away is how it will change your relationships. At least, Continue Reading …
Editor’s note: Still Mothers and Still Fathers come from all backgrounds, belief-systems, and faiths. We support all families living childless after loss, regardless of personal beliefs. We know there are many paths to healing, and religion can be one. This post shares one of our Still Father’s specific belief system. Continue Reading …
Hello Still Mothers, I’m sure we don’t need to tell you it was Father’s Day this past weekend*. It was a tough weekend for us as Still Parents…another day that’s not at all how it should be. We hope it was a gentle as possible for you. We had lots Continue Reading …
He is someone who loves a child, long before they exist. He is someone who hopes for a child. He is someone who prepares for a child. He is someone who sacrifices for a child. He is someone who is overjoyed to see two pink lines. He is someone who Continue Reading …
My son died suddenly and unexpectedly when he was only 9 days old. We could tell something was wrong with our precious baby at around 5:30am, he seemed pale. He had his doctor’s appointment scheduled at 8:30 that morning, but we decided that my husband was going to go ahead and Continue Reading …
Father’s Day is an odd day in my world. I’m grateful that I still have my father, whom I adore, and I have fun finding both silly and sweet cards for him and making sure to talk with him on the phone that day (since he lives 1200 miles away). Continue Reading …
This is my 4th Father’s Day since my newborn son Samuel died in April 2012. And I am once again reminded that I have no living children. I am a father, but I don’t have my son with me to hold and love. So Father’s Day is one of the Continue Reading …
Dear David, I see you. I see you my love. I see when you look just a little too long at her picture on the wall. I see how your heart aches when you can’t find the right words to comfort me. I watch your face go hallow when you’re Continue Reading …
It’s the same every year until it isn’t. I never dreamt my husband would celebrate Father’s Day without his child, without his baby girl. Now here we are approaching his second Father’s Day; still with no living children and him longing for his baby girl. To be honest I thought Continue Reading …
First, let me start with a small disclaimer. The post you are about to read is pretty full of raw emotion. While I do not want to be a downer, the topic of losing a child is a sad and emotional one. Not only that, but it is intensified when Continue Reading …
Father’s Day is this Sunday. Another day that hurts as a loss parent, and cuts deep as a Still Parent. Another holiday to shine a spotlight on the huge gaping hole in our lives and the precious child missing from our arms. Is it a day to hide in bed? Continue Reading …
Grieving is something that can be very hard on a couple. In many cases, grieving the loss of a child can tear a marriage apart. That being said, it is important for both parties to work together and realize that supporting each other and joining together in this difficult time Continue Reading …
Growing up as a guy always has its challenges when it comes to celebrating days that revolve around a female. When you’re little your parents handle all those things. I had 2 sisters so whenever they had a birthday or something I never really “got them” anything (mostly because I Continue Reading …
For couples who have lost a child, holidays can be very difficult. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can be particular difficult times. It is hard to figure out how to navigate this particular day as nothing is as it was supposed to be. For me as a man, one of Continue Reading …
