Dating After Loss

2016 was the year of loss for me. After losing my daughter, I also faced the loss of my relationship with her father.  All of that on its own was extremely tough to work through, but then I faced something incredibly confusing and daunting– dating.  Except, this wasn’t only dating- Continue Reading …

Representing Still Parents

A non-profit organization that I work with held their 7th annual Footprints On Our Hearts Walk To Remember the weekend of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. My husband and I had never attended a walk for our son before. It was an extremely emotional but comforting experience for us. Continue Reading …

Grieving Together, Separately

You hear many things about grief – “it comes and goes in waves”, “there’s no wrong way to grieve” and “everyone grieves differently”. In my experience, these are all true, but the last one was incredibly real after the loss of my daughter. What do you do when you’re not Continue Reading …

It’s Not Black or White

Time and time again I hear about expectations regarding grieving parents. We hear about how they “should” or “shouldn’t” act, what they “should” or “shouldn’t” do, what they “should” or “shouldn’t” talk about. One valuable life lesson I’ve learned is that expectations can choke the life out of even the Continue Reading …

What They Don’t Tell You

It’s your first baby so it’s all a bit alien to you. You listen to everyone’s advice and do everything you’re supposed to do: you stop smoking, you stop drinking, you start taking folic-acid. They constantly tell you not to worry and that you’re doing great. You go to classes, Continue Reading …

Grieving as a Still Mother – It’s Not the Same

We’ve all had that moment; you tell someone that you don’t have living children and you hear “I completely understand, we lost our first one, too”. You feel an instant connection — finally, someone else who gets it! — but then they tell you how they have had more kids, Continue Reading …

Dear Grief Bully

To those who think I don’t still hurt, who feel my time mourning has an expiration date … To those that feel I should be “over it by now,” “moving on,” “writing about happier things,” “feeling better,” “snapping out of it”… To those who don’t understand why I celebrate and Continue Reading …

Dear Friend

Dear Friend, Congratulations. Please understand that I am trying to be happy for you. Please understand that I wish you and your baby nothing but the best. Please know that I love you. But, please also understand that when you just announced your pregnancy, my heart literally hurt. Please know Continue Reading …

6 tips for Friends and Family Announcing a Pregnancy to a Still Mother

Consider that this pregnancy announcement might be difficult for her We understand that for you, this pregnancy is a wonderful news that you’re excited to share with the world – and for the most part, the world will gleefully congratulate you. But remember those that will be too heartbroken to Continue Reading …

Maybe

Maybe you wanted a perfectly natural water birth with limited pain medication, and instead you had to face the disappointment of having medical intervention and giving birth in a bed…Please take a moment to imagine the extent of the disappointment of saying goodbye to all your hopes and dreams for Continue Reading …

A New Schoolbag

This September my 6-year old goddaughter is starting school. She will attend a specific sports program, with training and lots of activities, I believe. Her mother kept me well informed about the preparation process, the selection of the proper school, gathering information, the entrance exam, and, now, the final steps Continue Reading …

Thoughts on One Year of Still Mothers

lisa-mothersdaypost

One year ago, on May 10th, Still Mother’s went live. Our vision for a place to support all loss mothers with no living children came into being. Many months of hard work – writing, planning, creating, and designing – all came together in a lovely way, and we began on a Continue Reading …

Tips for Dating a Still Mother

red flowers, grand canyon

The moment Addison’s father and I decided to go our different ways I realized how hard meeting someone else was going to really be. Dating is hard to begin with but here I am, forever attached to my ex, always talking about my baby, which is his baby too. It takes Continue Reading …

Personal Trials at Work

Being at work can be a challenge as a Still Mother.  I manage a small sports therapy clinic, and overseeing the ins and outs keeps me pretty occupied. Most days I can just worry about regular office stuff, but occasionally some personal trials come up within my workday, one of which still throw Continue Reading …

Reality Check

yellow flowers against a cloudy sky in Arizona

*Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on Chloë’s blog, here. “It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.” I started to blog for two reasons : first, because I thought the love I shared with my daughter was a story worth telling. Second, because I was living in an oncology Continue Reading …