I always wonder how other families suffering with a loss cope with the normal day to day activities. I know for me it is a vicious cycle that repeats itself EVERY SINGLE DAY. From the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep my days just continue to Continue Reading …
If you’re a loss mom, you’ve most likely heard the words “at least” about the death of your child. I wish it wasn’t so, but people love to try to put a pretty bow on things, even ugly unspeakably horrible things like the death of a child. They say “at Continue Reading …
There’s a widely accepted story about why today is called Black Friday. A hundred or so years ago, bookkeepers would keep track of losses in red ink and profits in black. Throughout most of the year, the books would be filled with red, until the day after Thanksgiving. As people Continue Reading …
Canadian Thanksgiving has come and gone and this year I struggled. With every “Happy Thanksgiving!” text, note or wishes, my face would go blank and I would type or say the appropriate response. However, in my head? In my head I was wondering what there was to be happy OR Continue Reading …
To the nurse that said “Congratulations” I think about you a lot. The story of my daughters life doesn’t start out like a lot of pregnancy stories. It wasn’t one of those sweet times in a couples lives where they decided to have children and within a couple of months Continue Reading …
I wish… …I got to bring my baby home. …that there weren’t so many unanswered questions. …I didn’t know this excruciating suffering. I wish… …I didn’t have to see the sympathetic gazes and hear the unintentionally painful platitudes. …I didn’t have to pretend to be “okay.” …I had my confidence Continue Reading …
I used to have a little girl. The fairest of them all. A cuddler, a fighter, everything I had hoped for. I used to be a mother, to carry her, to feed her, to change her diapers. I was the moon to her sun, and never away from her. But Continue Reading …
The due date: At one time, it was considered a much anticipated day of new life. That is how it was supposed to be, but it’s not how it is for everyone. Instead, it has become a day of lament because my daughter was born still at 23 weeks. If Continue Reading …
Time heals all wounds, they say. But I’m learning that isn’t always the case. Grief happens and sometimes our hearts will never completely mend. The loss of my perfect angel hurts more than I could have ever imagined. No, I was not “that far” along in my pregnancy. I thought Continue Reading …
No, no, no. I can hear this simple, two lettered word in my mother’s voice just as I did when she first taught me it’s meaning. It had to have been my second word, after dada. Maybe that’s why I learned it so quickly. This simple word was the first Continue Reading …
I see her. The one walking down the isle at the grocery store. The girl who looks to be about my age. She’s the one with a shopping cart full of brightly colored packages of party plates and decorations, diapers and wipes for days, a single helium balloon hovers over her Continue Reading …
Dear Friend, Congratulations. Please understand that I am trying to be happy for you. Please understand that I wish you and your baby nothing but the best. Please know that I love you. But, please also understand that when you just announced your pregnancy, my heart literally hurt. Please know Continue Reading …
Consider that this pregnancy announcement might be difficult for her We understand that for you, this pregnancy is a wonderful news that you’re excited to share with the world – and for the most part, the world will gleefully congratulate you. But remember those that will be too heartbroken to Continue Reading …
There has only been one constant desire in my life. As a young girl, through my teenage years and well into adulthood, I’ve wanted to be a Mother. This is not the desire for every woman and it does not have to be. It is mine, though. I wanted to Continue Reading …
