I must admit, I have never been a great fan of New Year’s Eve. Even as a child I would hide somewhere so that those last moments of the old one would pass without me. I hated the opening noises of the champagne bottle and even the fact that I Continue Reading …
I know who I was then, and I remember who I wanted to become. We would have children; one for sure, and maybe more. We would be a family, make family memories and share what we knew, make sure our children felt loved. All that was before. Before the crisis, the Continue Reading …
So guys, we survived! We survived another Christmas without our precious children. I bet no one congratulated you, so let me do it : Great job, you! I don’t care if you stayed home and cried the whole day, I’m still proud of you. Because I know how hard it was. I Continue Reading …
Christmas has always been a special period of time in my life. As a child I could not get bored with the magical atmosphere, the wonder that it is, and being happy about the presents. As I grew older, I would discover the real magic of Nativity, the wonder what Continue Reading …
This is our fourth Christmas since Samuel’s life began, and third since it ended. In many ways, it’s easier than previous years. But that’s mostly because we’ve completely reconstructed how we participate in the holiday. Instead of big holiday gatherings – with lots of people, gifts, music, and festivities – Continue Reading …
It’s been nine long months since I said hello and goodbye to Elliot. It’s been nine long months since I last heard her heartbeat. It’s been nine long months since I thought I was bringing home my healthy, full term baby. I’ve had nine months to prepare for today, my first Christmas Continue Reading …
This post was written as part of the UPLIFT series, by Carly Marie. Learn more, and get connected. It originally appeared on our sister site, Still Standing Magazine. ________________________________________________________________________________ Growing up, Christmas was a wonderful time. It was twinkling lights, sparkling bulbs, wintery pine, and shiny packages with swirling ribbons. It Continue Reading …
Before loading the car with the Ina Garten potatoes and the mini-ham sandwich appetizers, I found myself in tears in the bathroom. Preparing to leave for our dear friends’ home for Christmas, I just didn’t want to go. Didn’t have the energy to flat iron the hair and find an outfit, especially one Continue Reading …
You are my first thought in the morning. You are my very last thought before I fall asleep. You are the light along this dim path. You are the one who taught me the meaning of true love. You are everything that is right in the world. You are Continue Reading …
Christmas was never a good holiday for me growing up. It was always more hassle than what it was worth (coming from a divorced family it was stressful at the best of times). I’ll admit when I got pregnant I was excited for the coming winter holidays. I’d have my Continue Reading …
*Original version published here. What do people really mean when they say, You are so strong? You are so brave? They mean: You are different than most. Different than them. They say maybe you are somehow better equipped to deal with this tragedy. (Perhaps it’s no coincidence it happened to your family). Continue Reading …
There was an interesting question posed recently in the Still Mothers Embracing Life Facebook group. (The private group for Still Mothers who are learning to live without subsequent children after loss). We were discussing how being a Still Mother has changed us and then we were asked “Who are you?” I was Continue Reading …
*Editors Note: This post is about the author’s struggle with religion, personal beliefs, and religious platitudes after loss. If religion is a triggering subject for you, please proceed with caution, or simply skip this post. Here at Still Mothers, we know the value of spirituality/religion as a means for healing for some, and Continue Reading …
The holidays are never easy for those of us who are survivors of infertility, pregnancy loss or infant loss. For me, it is in the endless wonder… What toys would they have loved playing with this year? What would our holiday card have looked like? What would it have been Continue Reading …
Dear Invisible Mother, You are a beautiful mother. It takes bravery and courage and profound love to mother a child you cannot see or hold or touch. You are strong. Whether you feel strong or not, you are. Even when you are on your knees in tears. Even when you Continue Reading …
There isn’t a minute that goes by without missing my daughter. She is constantly on my mind and I wish she were here, every second of every day. But I have found there are certain moments, memories, that cause me to miss her even more than usual… When I Continue Reading …
