The Ornament

The last two years have been tumultuous, full of change, growth, steps forward, and steps back.  A divorce. Two moves.  A new home with a fresh start; a place to make my own. And even a glimpse of a future with some happiness, contentment, and maybe even budding romance. I Continue Reading …

Christmas Isn’t Just For Those With Living Children

By Amii Whelan “I think they should let those with children go home early for Christmas, it’s hard for those of us with young kids”, “I’m going to work right up to Christmas this year to let those with kids have time so when I have kids someone can do Continue Reading …

Hobbies That Turn On Us

Losing our babies changes everything in life for us.  We lose not just our babies, but the future we had envisioned with them. We lose our sense of identity as a parent, and so much more. Some of these changes, called secondary losses, are just so unexpected, though, like when Continue Reading …

One Day, It Will Feel Safe To Begin To Peek Out & Explore

Sometimes, I find myself reading posts from Moms that are at the very beginning of their loss journey and my heart aches for them. The pangs of deepest agony that ring throughout their words can easily bring me back to those very moments myself. I wish there were magic words Continue Reading …

Holiday Cheer, Not So Much

Happy Holidays! Such a simple wish, seemingly full of joy and comfort. Yet, for those who are missing a baby or child during this season, it is full of many things but often neither joy nor comfort. I remember many years, at the beginning of this journey, when the holiday Continue Reading …

Single Mom of Angel ISO Place to Belong

So, here we are again, approaching Mother’s Day as we do every year. Until I lost Kendall 20 years ago, I had no idea there were people who hated this day. I loved having a special day to celebrate my Mom and my Gramma. I was blessed in that way, Continue Reading …

Therapeutic Endeavors III: The Letter

If you did not read my previous posts, Therapeutic Endeavors part I &  part II,  I’ll catch you up. Basically; I had a crappy therapist, became a therapist and then had a much better therapist. He suggested I write a letter to my son telling him all the things I Continue Reading …

How To Cope With Friends Who Take Their Kids For Granted

Do you ever feel frustrated or resentful when you hear people complaining about their kids? Like when your friend vents about how little sleep she’s getting with her newborn waking through the night, or when your sister-in-law gripes to you about her pregnancy symptoms… or your co-worker complains about how Continue Reading …

Representing Still Parents

A non-profit organization that I work with held their 7th annual Footprints On Our Hearts Walk To Remember the weekend of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. My husband and I had never attended a walk for our son before. It was an extremely emotional but comforting experience for us. Continue Reading …

The Absence of Bitterness

I recently got home from a long weekend away at Faith’s Lodge.  I had expected that a weekend away with my husband in a beautiful, peaceful environment would be a fulfilling experience for us, but I didn’t anticipate that it would be as meaningful as it ended up being. On Continue Reading …

Dear Me, I Have So Much To Tell You

There’s something that happens to a person when they survive trauma. For me, it was like someone snapped my neck and now I’m a quadriplegic. Suddenly I had an entire new perspective on the world I never asked for. It became even darker than before. Losing my daughter was, unfortunately, Continue Reading …

The Girl With The Camera

There’s something special about taking someone’s photo. In some cultures, it’s so intimate they think the camera steals your soul. My goal as a photographer has always been to capture the sparkle in someone’s eyes, the laughter behind their grin. My best work used to be from chasing people and Continue Reading …

Reclaiming New Year’s Without My Babies

New Year’s is one of my favorite holidays. I love the sense of a fresh start, the chance to review the good and the bad of the previous year and consider what I want to create in the next year. Even though I know it’s an arbitrary date on a Continue Reading …

The Decision to Stop Trying

by Louise Botterill Dear Brave Mama, For some of us, chasing the (seemingly never ending) dream of having another baby after loss can be so encompassing that it interferes with the life we already have. We become so caught up in chasing the unattainable that what’s right in front of Continue Reading …

I Am Guilty

I'm Guilty

I am guilty. I’m guilty of judging every woman who’s pregnant with ease. I’m guilty of holding my niece and wishing she was mine. I’m guilty of avoiding baby showers and birthday parties. I’m guilty of glaring at swollen bellies with hatred. I’m guilty of staring at babies around her age – Continue Reading …

Living While Grieving – The Real Meaning of Moving On

Living While Grieving - The Real Meaning of Moving On

If my daughter had lived, she would be 12 years old.  She would be dealing with the challenges of middle school girls, heading fast into her teenage years, figuring out who she is as a young person, and, if she was anything like her mother, determined to do everything her Continue Reading …