by Brittany Sherlock
Two years ago my life changed forever.
Two years ago my daughter was born sleeping.
Two years ago I held my beautiful perfect angel for the first and last time.
Two years ago I counted her fingers and toes and snuggled her close to me and breathed her in.
Two years ago her heart stopped beating and mine kept going somehow…barely.
Two years ago the nurse wheeled my daughter out of my room and never brought her back to me.
Two years ago I left the hospital empty handed and returned to a quiet empty house.
Two years ago I laid in my bed and cried with my hand on my now flat belly, in so much pain I thought I might die.
Two years ago I told everyone I was fine, but in reality I was anything but fine.
Two years ago I picked up my daughters tiny urn from the funeral home and brought her home.
Two years ago the woman I once was died with that little baby.
It’s been two years of hell living without her.
Two years of walking around with a shattered heart.
Two years of pretending and plastering on that fake smile.
Two years of asking why!
Two years of wondering what I had done wrong to deserve this pain.
Two years of trying to accept that my daughter is gone and that it was for the best.
Two years of making the best of this situation.
Two years of wondering who she would look like more, me or her daddy.
Two years of wondering what her cry would sound like and what her first words would be.
Two years of wondering about everything!
Two years of my body aching to hold her and to kiss her.
Two years of watching everyone around me move on with their lives.
Two years of holidays and family gatherings without her.
Two years of missing her so badly that it feels like I may suffocate from the pain.
Two years of the one dreaded question “ do you have children?” And the look you get when you answer.
Two years of going to sleep at night and hoping she will come to me in my dreams, if only for one minute.
Two years of celebrating a baby that has forever changed my life.
Two years of loving my daughter and keeping her memory alive with everything I do.
Two years…
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Brittany Sherlock , 31 from Bloomingburg NY. My daughter Delilah Louise, passed away on March 9, 2016 at 31 weeks. She was stillborn on March 11, 2016. She never got to experience this world but boy did she leave an impact.
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