Last Christmas was the first without our sweet boy, and honestly, it was as crappy as I had expected it to be. Between the traditions we had been planning to fulfill with him, the gifts we had planned to buy, and all the Christmas joy we wanted to share with Continue Reading …
I sat down to write this post, and realized that everything I thought I wanted to say wasn’t entirely true today. It might be true tomorrow, it might be true later this afternoon, but right now, none of the things I planned to write are things I’m feeling. Maybe that’s Continue Reading …
Today is my son’s first birthday. For a first-time mother, that seems like a strange thing to say. With each passing year, our own age shows that we are getting older. That we have more experiences and more life behind us than the year before. Then we have children, and Continue Reading …
Losing our son was the single worst experience of my entire life. Losing our daughter was a little easier. Miscarrying our third seemed almost routine. They have all been hard, but with each loss, I’ve also lost more and more of my hope and optimism. My motto of “keep moving Continue Reading …
Everyone experiences a shift in their identity at least once in their life (unless you don’t, then lucky you). I experienced one the summer after my freshman year of college, another the following summer when I got married, and another the day we lost Carter. The first two times were Continue Reading …
So many people have told me “you’re so strong.” Sometimes I want to punch them, but most of the time I just shrug and tell them that I don’t have any other choice. My husband repeatedly tells me that I do, in fact, have a choice. I could choose to Continue Reading …
It has been almost nine months since you were born. October 27, 2016. I wish we could take one of those “nine month” pictures. The kind where I hold you roughly where you hung out in my belly, and then we put it next to the very last picture of Continue Reading …
