Dating After Loss

2016 was the year of loss for me. After losing my daughter, I also faced the loss of my relationship with her father.  All of that on its own was extremely tough to work through, but then I faced something incredibly confusing and daunting– dating.  Except, this wasn’t only dating- Continue Reading …

My Love/Hate Relationship with Facebook

Grieving and Facebook. I have so many mixed feelings about social media, especially now, nearly two years since my son’s departure from this world. On one hand, I love Facebook and its ability to quickly connect people across the world. In those early days of my grieving process, I would Continue Reading …

Why I Shared my Son’s Picture

I hesitantly clicked the send button. I had just posted my first full picture of my son. Most new parents are excited to post a picture of their sleeping newborn, nestled in a cocoon of blankets. The image is often greeted with comments of, “Congratulations!” or “He’s so adorable. He’s got your eyes.” I knew that such Continue Reading …

Dear Grief Bully

To those who think I don’t still hurt, who feel my time mourning has an expiration date … To those that feel I should be “over it by now,” “moving on,” “writing about happier things,” “feeling better,” “snapping out of it”… To those who don’t understand why I celebrate and Continue Reading …

Jasper’s Mom and Dad’s 5 Tips For Getting Through The Holiday Season

The Christmas of 2012 was our favorite and happiest Christmas to date. We had learned early in the month that we were finally expecting our first child. I was practically bed ridden with morning sickness and fatigue but I had no worries in the world. The gift theme was pretty Continue Reading …

Dear Me, I Have So Much To Tell You

There’s something that happens to a person when they survive trauma. For me, it was like someone snapped my neck and now I’m a quadriplegic. Suddenly I had an entire new perspective on the world I never asked for. It became even darker than before. Losing my daughter was, unfortunately, Continue Reading …

Flying After Babyloss: Ten Tips for Surviving the Trauma of Travel

When I worked as a flight attendant I spent many flights doting over baby travelers. I walked them up and down the aisle while they cried, I held them as their mothers fit their seat belts, and I defended them from angry business passengers. I’ll never forget the time when, Continue Reading …

Protecting My Heart on Father’s Day

When we lost Thomas, I knew we had suffered an enormous loss.  A loss that I cannot adequately describe in the English language.  I didn’t yet know that we would never be the same, that life would never be the same.  Things are forever divided, in my mind and heart, Continue Reading …

The Decision to Stop Trying

by Louise Botterill Dear Brave Mama, For some of us, chasing the (seemingly never ending) dream of having another baby after loss can be so encompassing that it interferes with the life we already have. We become so caught up in chasing the unattainable that what’s right in front of Continue Reading …

I Am Guilty

I'm Guilty

I am guilty. I’m guilty of judging every woman who’s pregnant with ease. I’m guilty of holding my niece and wishing she was mine. I’m guilty of avoiding baby showers and birthday parties. I’m guilty of glaring at swollen bellies with hatred. I’m guilty of staring at babies around her age – Continue Reading …

14 Things it is Okay to Do (Or Not Do) As a Still Mother

pink and blue carnations

When you are a Still Mother, there are many situations and circumstances that are VERY difficult. If you ever feel the need, it is okay to:     Unfollow or Hide a fellow baby loss mom when she becomes pregnant or gives birth to her healthy baby. Do various things Continue Reading …

The Conflicting Feelings of Mother’s Day

emily-mothersday-yellowflowers

Ah, Mother’s Day.  Hands down my least favorite holiday of the year. Mother’s Day has been an emotional challenge for me for years. Twelve years to be exact; every year since my first daughter was born still. I’ve handled it, and my grief around it, in various ways over the years. Continue Reading …

Honoring Your Motherhood as a Still Mother

raeanne-mothersdaypost

Well, it’s here: Mothers Day. Honestly, I believe it’s one of the hardest days for a loss mama to bear. It just hurts. Deeply. Everything about it is wrong. On one hand, we are mothers and deserve to have our motherhood honored just as much – actually, I’m just going Continue Reading …