Losing a baby is one of a few instances one can go through in life that truly draws a trench in their timeline. Life is no longer fluid. It is the before and the after. But the after is not at all what you had in mind and were preparing Continue Reading …
It’s been a rough (almost) 2 years. You have experienced more than many will in their lifetime. While you have suffered great loss, you also know great love. I just wanted to remind you of a few things. The infertility/loss combo is a B! It will make you feel physically Continue Reading …
You hear many things about grief – “it comes and goes in waves”, “there’s no wrong way to grieve” and “everyone grieves differently”. In my experience, these are all true, but the last one was incredibly real after the loss of my daughter. What do you do when you’re not Continue Reading …
From the outside looking in, my life looks the same as it did before we had a baby. I wake up at the same time to go to work. There’s no one to get ready but myself. I work the same hours. We don’t have to coordinate who’s picking up Continue Reading …
Dear well-meaning friend, I know your intention is to have a positive conversation about how adopting could be a great way for me to have the baby I want so badly. There are just a couple things I want you to know before you bring it up. First, when you Continue Reading …
Everyone experiences a shift in their identity at least once in their life (unless you don’t, then lucky you). I experienced one the summer after my freshman year of college, another the following summer when I got married, and another the day we lost Carter. The first two times were Continue Reading …
In case you were wondering, gingerbread cake with spinach tastes good. Of course, you probably weren’t wondering. But last weekend, I went to visit a camp where I used to work. Camp lends itself to absolute silliness, and on this day the prescribed silliness was an activity schedule that said Continue Reading …
Time and time again I hear about expectations regarding grieving parents. We hear about how they “should” or “shouldn’t” act, what they “should” or “shouldn’t” do, what they “should” or “shouldn’t” talk about. One valuable life lesson I’ve learned is that expectations can choke the life out of even the Continue Reading …
Unsettled is one word I would use to describe my life post loss. This is not how things are supposed to be for us. I know this. I should not be fighting over stupid things with my husband. I should not be moving every year. I should not have to Continue Reading …
It’s your first baby so it’s all a bit alien to you. You listen to everyone’s advice and do everything you’re supposed to do: you stop smoking, you stop drinking, you start taking folic-acid. They constantly tell you not to worry and that you’re doing great. You go to classes, Continue Reading …
August was a hard month for my family and me. I actively dreaded it. I tried to brace myself for it, since it does arrive every damn year; but no matter how much I prepare, there are always a few sucker punches it throws my way. It was in August Continue Reading …
