Since losing Jensen almost four months ago, I’ve become a completely different mother than I ever planned. One lesson I’ve learned is nothing will ever be the same. Most days it’s hard to get out of bed. The days where I do feel a little bit of strength, I push myself, Continue Reading …
One question we get asked a lot here at Still Mothers is some form of “How do I handle pregnancies and living children after my only child died?” I would love to sit down and write out the perfect response to this question, because I know how confusing it can Continue Reading …
“How are you doing?” The question is usually asked casually. The ones who really mean it say, “No, really, how are you doing?” My response has become, “Not bad.” It’s never “good” anymore. Because I’m not good. I’m not sure I will ever be good. But I’m also not bad. Continue Reading …
Jasper would be 3 years old today, August the 22nd of 2016. As I’m writing this, I can place myself back in time to July 2013 when everything was perfect and set for our happily ever after. Jasper loved fresh vegetables. I could eat them all day long, breakfast lunch Continue Reading …
Yesterday I read an article about child loss, written by a psychologist. It was important that she wrote about the topic, yet, when I finished reading it I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. Among other things she mentioned that if you get support from your family Continue Reading …
Dear Friend, I bet you probably think of me now as the “crazy person” who lost her baby. You know, waking up every day to the fact that my child is dead actually does make makes me feel crazy, but really, it’s just normal grief. I know you can’t understand, but Continue Reading …
Editor’s Note: This post references the idea of wanting another child after loss. Please read with caution, if this is a triggering subject for you. “To not be in the story of how it should have been but to live in deep acceptance of how it is. The only time Continue Reading …
Someone recently asked me if there was any one thing, one most important thing, I would ask of people around the death and grief of my daughters’ deaths. I was surprised at how easily my answer came – there are so many things I could say, but this quickly arose Continue Reading …
One of the first things that crossed my mind after the loss of my only child was the answering of the invasive, rude and inappropriate questions people ask in passing. I had already dealt with them for a decade but in a much different way than I was about to Continue Reading …
Some days I feel the tears, always there, ready to fall at any moment. Even three years out now from my last loss, I have to fight to keep them from spilling out until I am alone. I go to the bathroom to let the sobs come in privacy. Some Continue Reading …
When I was a little girl, I believed in unicorns, happily ever after’s, and that every birthday wish came true. I can remember the cake being put right in front of my face, with one more candle from the year before. Each year I didn’t think I’d be able to Continue Reading …
When I worked as a flight attendant I spent many flights doting over baby travelers. I walked them up and down the aisle while they cried, I held them as their mothers fit their seat belts, and I defended them from angry business passengers. I’ll never forget the time when, Continue Reading …
I think at some point, all Still Mothers have told a friend, acquaintance, etc, that we cannot have living children and have been tossed the “oh! Mine are terrors, you can have mine” line. Ugh! I’ve tried to be educational and yet honest and bluntly tell people that their statement hurts me. Continue Reading …
