Hope can spring from the strangest places; like a former Concentration Camp. The day of my visit to Auschwitz marked eleven moths and fourteen days since my son, Jack, was born, and eleven months and fifteen days since he died in my arms. It was 7 weeks to the day Continue Reading …
What if I am never able to have kids? What happens to my life then? These are questions I have contemplated frequently in recent months since my second angel baby gained his wings. The world becomes a scary place when something you have unknowingly been planning for since you were Continue Reading …
She would have been your first friend nearly your sister almost a twin. You illumined the winter solstice our cycles of hope and despair, and I cried with joy and sorrow and longing. One more intricate try for me in the dead of winter – she was there. I gave Continue Reading …
This is my first time writing for Still Mothers and I want to thank RaeAnne and Lisa for creating such a safe and inclusive place for women to just be with their grief without having to worry about coming across the triggers that seem to be everywhere these days. I’ve Continue Reading …
There seems to be some misunderstanding in the general populace that we, as grieving parents, are only still grieving because of our inability or unwillingness to accept reality. To them, us accepting reality would mean that we would move on from our grief, go back to being the person we Continue Reading …
When we lost Thomas, I knew we had suffered an enormous loss. A loss that I cannot adequately describe in the English language. I didn’t yet know that we would never be the same, that life would never be the same. Things are forever divided, in my mind and heart, Continue Reading …
My bedside table overflows with books on grief and baby loss, tissues, and cold tea from the night before. They each comfort me before I have the task of making myself fall asleep. As I walk over to my boyfriend’s side of the bed, I’m surprised to see what’s on Continue Reading …
A fellow still mother recently shared on our support group about an hurtful exchange that took place at the school she works at. As the staff was discussing children’s activities for this past Mother’s Day, one of her coworker assessed that only “actively mothering” women should be celebrated on Mother’s Day. In this Continue Reading …
I used to go on walks at the park with a mommy friend of mine. We’d stroll with our babies strapped to our chests and catch up on each others lives. Talk about the hard parts of being a mom, and the amazing parts, too. She’d talk about what her Continue Reading …
The number 10 has a special meaning for me and my husband. We had been married for 10 years when we finally got pregnant after numerous failed fertility treatments. Our daughter Pearl was born still at 29 weeks on April 10, 2006, and it’s now 10 years since she has left Continue Reading …
As I continue on my journey of learning to live my life without my son, a family, and totally alone I have found tremendous comfort in art. I learned basic painting techniques while I attended AAU when I went back for my degree. Little did I know then how helpful Continue Reading …
“If it weren’t for my older son/daughter, I don’t think I could survive.” “Without my living children, I don’t think I would have found anything worth living for.” “If I hadn’t had my rainbow baby, I don’t know if I could have found hope again.” “I just don’t know if Continue Reading …
I often think about a time one night nearing the end of our pregnancy, while lying next to my husband. I can not recall a happier time in our lives. Finally, after years and years and years of struggling with infertility, we had overcome the barriers and conceived our perfect Continue Reading …
