I’m reclaiming my daughter’s birth. When I went into labour at 23+4 weeks, I was scared and sad. I’d been on strict bed rest almost two weeks since my membranes ruptured and we had moved from ‘no hope’ to ‘some hope’ in that time. But in the moment I realised Continue Reading …
If you did not read my previous posts, Therapeutic Endeavors part I & part II, I’ll catch you up. Basically; I had a crappy therapist, became a therapist and then had a much better therapist. He suggested I write a letter to my son telling him all the things I Continue Reading …
If you read the first part of this post last time, you already know that I had nothing but bad experiences with therapists my whole life. You also probably know (if you’ve ever read any of my posts) that this inspired me to become a therapist myself to help bereaved Continue Reading …
Have I ever told you about the therapist I saw just one time after my son died? No? Let me tell you now. If I could sum it up in one word? Awful. I was hesitant about seeing a therapist at all because it was something I had to do Continue Reading …
Recently, I found a box of old pictures – always an interesting and terrifying worm hole to jump down. These were pictures from high school – prom, birthdays, last day of school etc. What startled me is how very different the girl in the picture’s face was and it wasn’t Continue Reading …
It has been 19 years since that awful night in the emergency room when everything changed. Nineteen years since the woman I was shifted into the woman who became “one of those people”. One of those people who bad things happen to and who are involved in the stories that Continue Reading …
When I was early in the grief process, I read an amazing post, over at Still Standing, by the equally amazing Angela Miller. It was titled “Why you Didn’t Fail as a Mother” and it changed how I grieved. I book marked it. I re-read it. When it came out Continue Reading …
When you are unwillingly initiated into the baby loss “club,” one of the first things you usually learn is what your personal grief triggers are. I discussed triggers in depth in an earlier post but basically triggers are something that intensifies grief for a period of time. They can be Continue Reading …
Grieving the loss of your baby is a very, very lonely road. It is long. It is slow. It is isolating. At the beginning you cry endlessly, you are in complete despair. This is what people expect. It makes sense to them. The funeral is the pinnacle of this public expression of grief Continue Reading …
While I know that nothing will ever replace the loss of my daughter and I will never stop wondering, “what if”, as I have worked through my grief I have learned there is a silver lining in her life and in her loss. Through her, I have felt support and Continue Reading …
