There is enough struggle in grief without having expectations on where you “should be”.
The idea we need to be “happier”, “better”, “to move on” or – at times – to be sadder does not support us in our grief, but rather brings up feelings of guilt and shame.
You can’t stop others saying what they are going to say but you can change the way you speak to yourself.
Allow your grief to rise and fall like the waves of the ocean.
Allow the times of deep sorrow and pain.
Allow the moments of joy.
Last night my grief hit me like a Mack truck. I cried the way I had never known I could until Kai passed. The cry that comes with grief from every layer of my being.
I felt the searing pain. The pain I wonder if I will be able to survive.
Today I sit in this deep pain. Today I sit with this profound loneliness and sadness. No matter how others want me to be. No matter how much I wish I didn’t have to live through this pain.
My baby boy is gone from my arms and I will miss him forever.
There are times I will collapse with grief. There are times I will laugh.
Please allow this for me. Allow this as an honouring of my son. Do not ask me to be different. I am living the rest of my life in the sea of grief. This is my truth.
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Megan’s vision for the future was shattered the day her precious baby Kai Phoenix Hajny was born sleeping. Through her journey Megan has discovered that her work is to serve women. Megan is a life coach, massage therapist, nature based healer and postnatal doula for mothers who have lost their precious babies. Megan is here to witness women’s stories, to honour their journeys and hold space to support them to find their new ground. Megan is here to support women to live with integrity by living their truth, whatever that may be. Megan is here to support women to grieve, to dream, to be exactly where they are and support them, in their time to be move towards where they are hoping to be. You can join our safe space for other earth mummas of angel babies at Earth Mamas of Angel Babies.
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