I am guilty. I’m guilty of judging every woman who’s pregnant with ease. I’m guilty of holding my niece and wishing she was mine. I’m guilty of avoiding baby showers and birthday parties. I’m guilty of glaring at swollen bellies with hatred. I’m guilty of staring at babies around her age – Continue Reading …
So “it” happened again. I hate how often this happens, an acquaintance using the dreaded “how many kids do you have” question as an icebreaker. This question appears innocent to many but to those of us who have dealt with infertility and/or pregnancy loss it is pure evil. As an Continue Reading …
Hello Still Mothers, I’m sure we don’t need to tell you it was Father’s Day this past weekend*. It was a tough weekend for us as Still Parents…another day that’s not at all how it should be. We hope it was a gentle as possible for you. We had lots Continue Reading …
He is someone who loves a child, long before they exist. He is someone who hopes for a child. He is someone who prepares for a child. He is someone who sacrifices for a child. He is someone who is overjoyed to see two pink lines. He is someone who Continue Reading …
My son died suddenly and unexpectedly when he was only 9 days old. We could tell something was wrong with our precious baby at around 5:30am, he seemed pale. He had his doctor’s appointment scheduled at 8:30 that morning, but we decided that my husband was going to go ahead and Continue Reading …
Father’s Day is an odd day in my world. I’m grateful that I still have my father, whom I adore, and I have fun finding both silly and sweet cards for him and making sure to talk with him on the phone that day (since he lives 1200 miles away). Continue Reading …
This is my 4th Father’s Day since my newborn son Samuel died in April 2012. And I am once again reminded that I have no living children. I am a father, but I don’t have my son with me to hold and love. So Father’s Day is one of the Continue Reading …
Dear David, I see you. I see you my love. I see when you look just a little too long at her picture on the wall. I see how your heart aches when you can’t find the right words to comfort me. I watch your face go hallow when you’re Continue Reading …
It’s the same every year until it isn’t. I never dreamt my husband would celebrate Father’s Day without his child, without his baby girl. Now here we are approaching his second Father’s Day; still with no living children and him longing for his baby girl. To be honest I thought Continue Reading …
First, let me start with a small disclaimer. The post you are about to read is pretty full of raw emotion. While I do not want to be a downer, the topic of losing a child is a sad and emotional one. Not only that, but it is intensified when Continue Reading …
Father’s Day is this Sunday. Another day that hurts as a loss parent, and cuts deep as a Still Parent. Another holiday to shine a spotlight on the huge gaping hole in our lives and the precious child missing from our arms. Is it a day to hide in bed? Continue Reading …
If my daughter had lived, she would be 12 years old. She would be dealing with the challenges of middle school girls, heading fast into her teenage years, figuring out who she is as a young person, and, if she was anything like her mother, determined to do everything her Continue Reading …
We’re back for another Talk to us Tuesday! Today we want to talk about the “Second Silence” from yesterday’s posts (You can read them here: Still Standing Post and Still Mothers Post). Many times, as Still Mothers, or mothers with no baby born after loss, we feel ignored in the community. Continue Reading …
Note: Today I’ve shared a post on Still Standing Magazine called Breaking the Second Silence that this post accompanies. It is about how some loss mothers (Still Mothers) do not have children after loss. I hope you’ll take the time to read and share it. Let me tell you a little about what it’s Continue Reading …
When you are a Still Mother, there are many situations and circumstances that are VERY difficult. If you ever feel the need, it is okay to: Unfollow or Hide a fellow baby loss mom when she becomes pregnant or gives birth to her healthy baby. Do various things Continue Reading …
I didn’t think anything of it when the text message popped up last week. It was from a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a while. “Hey. I wanted to say thanks for reaching out to me last week.” While I was on vacation, I drove past a place that Continue Reading …
Hello Still Mothers! Today’s Talk to us Tuesday is about Alex’s post yesterday. Did you read it? She really knows how to say the things we’re thinking and feeling. If you haven’t seen it, you can find it here. When your child dies, you instantly know what it means to really Continue Reading …
No one likes to lose. It is part of our human nature to want to win. We are taught to be competitive, to always do our best. And while there is nothing wrong with trying to win, we must also learn to lose. In every competition, someone loses. Whether it’s Continue Reading …
I miss those days when I thought nothing bad could happen to me. The days where I felt as if I were invincible. Every day brought promise and hope. Excitement over the future, and what could happen. Never fearing the future. Speeding down the highway, young and crazy, because “nothing Continue Reading …
June. You are summertime and sunshine. Fireflies and fragrant lilies. Sweet memories and love. Sweet possibilities and half-formed dreams. June. You are also bitter tears and broken hearts. Loss and tangled shadows. Darkness after the light goes out. Tattered dreams and deep, deep sorrow. June is Lily’s month. Lily was Continue Reading …
Hello Still Mothers! We’re back for another round of Talk to us Tuesday. If you’ve been following us, you know that Tuesdays are the days we like to hear from YOU, about what it’s like to be a Still Mother. If you’d like to learn more about what this weekly Continue Reading …
