Why I Shared my Son’s Picture

I hesitantly clicked the send button. I had just posted my first full picture of my son. Most new parents are excited to post a picture of their sleeping newborn, nestled in a cocoon of blankets. The image is often greeted with comments of, “Congratulations!” or “He’s so adorable. He’s got your eyes.” I knew that such Continue Reading …

Dear Grief Bully

To those who think I don’t still hurt, who feel my time mourning has an expiration date … To those that feel I should be “over it by now,” “moving on,” “writing about happier things,” “feeling better,” “snapping out of it”… To those who don’t understand why I celebrate and Continue Reading …

Dear Friend

Dear Friend, Congratulations. Please understand that I am trying to be happy for you. Please understand that I wish you and your baby nothing but the best. Please know that I love you. But, please also understand that when you just announced your pregnancy, my heart literally hurt. Please know Continue Reading …

Dear Me, I Have So Much To Tell You

There’s something that happens to a person when they survive trauma. For me, it was like someone snapped my neck and now I’m a quadriplegic. Suddenly I had an entire new perspective on the world I never asked for. It became even darker than before. Losing my daughter was, unfortunately, Continue Reading …

The Girl With The Camera

There’s something special about taking someone’s photo. In some cultures, it’s so intimate they think the camera steals your soul. My goal as a photographer has always been to capture the sparkle in someone’s eyes, the laughter behind their grin. My best work used to be from chasing people and Continue Reading …

Actively Mothering

I'm Guilty

A fellow still mother recently shared on our support group about an hurtful exchange that took place at the school she works at. As the staff was discussing children’s activities for this past Mother’s Day, one of her coworker assessed that only “actively mothering” women should be celebrated on Mother’s Day. In this Continue Reading …

Dear Healthcare Professionals

Dear Doctors, Nurses, and Health Professionals, First of all thank you for all that you do. The love and care that you so tirelessly put into taking care of our babies and trying to save them does not go unnoticed. You are incredible human beings who sacrifice your own families, Continue Reading …

Just a Day About Love

It’s coming…I can feel it. (Insert the threatening music here). I know it’s coming, I don’t need to look at the calendar for confirmation. My moods are all over the map, I’m sensitive and feeling things deeply. I swear, the woman at the bank with a stroller – she smirked Continue Reading …

You Might Be Infertile

Infertility is certainly not a laughing matter but sometimes we use humor to deflect our pain and avoid crying. Since it is Infertility Awareness week, let’s see if you might be infertile in Jeff Foxworthy fashion.   If you know the meaning of all these acronyms, BFP, BFN, DPO, PCOS, Continue Reading …

Infertility

She Was My Only Baby

“Infertility is the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive” (Resolve.org). But that definition falls short of telling you what it really means to struggle with infertility so, in honor of Infertility Awareness Week (April 24th-30th), let me tell you what Continue Reading …

Tips for Dating a Still Mother

red flowers, grand canyon

The moment Addison’s father and I decided to go our different ways I realized how hard meeting someone else was going to really be. Dating is hard to begin with but here I am, forever attached to my ex, always talking about my baby, which is his baby too. It takes Continue Reading …

Almost a Full Year

raeanne-mothersdaypost

Another day Another week Another month Almost a full year without you Another quiet morning at home Another lunch date for two Another sleepless night Almost a full year of silence Another pregnancy announcement Another baby shower invitation Another birth announcement Almost a full year of constant tears Another abrupt Continue Reading …

Personal Trials at Work

Being at work can be a challenge as a Still Mother.  I manage a small sports therapy clinic, and overseeing the ins and outs keeps me pretty occupied. Most days I can just worry about regular office stuff, but occasionally some personal trials come up within my workday, one of which still throw Continue Reading …

A Still Mothers Valentine’s Day

Today we celebrate the love we hold in our hearts for our precious children. A love that’s stronger than death; a love that never ends. On behalf of all of us here at Still Mothers, we wish you a gentle day filled with love and memories of the sweet little Continue Reading …

Reality Check

yellow flowers against a cloudy sky in Arizona

*Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on Chloë’s blog, here. “It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.” I started to blog for two reasons : first, because I thought the love I shared with my daughter was a story worth telling. Second, because I was living in an oncology Continue Reading …

I Won’t Be Home For Christmas

Before loading the car with the Ina Garten potatoes and the mini-ham sandwich appetizers, I found myself in tears in the bathroom. Preparing to leave for our dear friends’ home for Christmas, I just didn’t want to go. Didn’t have the energy to flat iron the hair and find an outfit, especially one Continue Reading …

When Religion Isn’t Comforting

*Editors Note: This post is about the author’s struggle with religion, personal beliefs, and religious platitudes  after loss. If religion is a triggering subject for you, please proceed with caution, or simply skip this post. Here at Still Mothers, we know the value of spirituality/religion as a means for healing for some, and Continue Reading …

The Decision to Stop Trying

by Louise Botterill Dear Brave Mama, For some of us, chasing the (seemingly never ending) dream of having another baby after loss can be so encompassing that it interferes with the life we already have. We become so caught up in chasing the unattainable that what’s right in front of Continue Reading …