I am a mother, too.

What makes a mother, well, a mother?

A mother…

Prepares for her child’s arrival.

Bonds with her child.

Dreams about her child’s future.

Hopes to give her child the very best she can.

Protects her child.

Worries about her child.

Speaks her child’s name freely.

Tells others about her child.

Most of all, loves her child so very deeply.

These all make us mothers.

No matter how short or long you’ve had with your son or daughter, you will always be their mom. The length in time does not dictate the amount of love. Although you can see living children, I promise you, we Still Mothers carry ours in our heart everywhere we go.

We don’t get to take our children to baseball or ballet practice. Some of us weren’t able to get to teach them how to walk and talk. Most people don’t see why we’re sad because they can’t physically see what is missing.

What we do get to do is just as special though. We can share our babies, their names, and the positive impact they have on those who are honored to hear their stories. Some of us tattoo their names, symbols, foot or handprints on their bodies, so others can physically see. We get weighted bears and include them in our pictures and take them on vacation with. A lot of us share our precious child’s picture because we are proud of them. We’re their mothers and we will parent them in the best way we know how.

We plan for the best when we physically have them here. In our time with them, we talked and read to them. We dreamed of their futures then and we still dream of them now. Everyday we hope we’re doing the best mothering we can, even though it’s not in the way we thought it would be. We protect our child’s memory, even when it feels like the world’s against us. As all mothers, we worry if they’re safe. We say their name and tell their stories. This is the sweetest part of motherhood tied with one other thing: the unending love we have for our children.

Our motherhood sometimes isn’t visible for others to see, but that doesn’t make our children any less real. It doesn’t make us love them any less. They are our whole world, just like the mom you see pushing her child on the swing.

Remember to help honor the grieving mother in your life. Don’t focus on the differences in their motherhood. Say their child’s name and listen to the stories she wants to tell. Hear her worries and let her spill love all over you. Don’t be afraid to bring her a card and flowers. Treat her like the mother she is, not the mother she was. She will continue to mother her child for the rest of her days.

The one thing I want to say with Mother’s Day fast approaching is I’m a mother too. Even with crazy journey through motherhood…

I am a mother too.

Danielle Ridgway

On April 5, 2016, Danielle’s life changed forever when her first-born son, Jensen Grey, was born asleep. Now she is learning how to live her life again by honoring her son and journeying through grief. She blogs at jensengrey.com

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On April 5, 2016, Danielle’s life changed forever when her first-born son, Jensen Grey, was born asleep. Now she is learning how to live her life again by honoring her son and journeying through grief. She blogs at jensengrey.com

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