Still Mothering

A few weeks ago, I shared this post about the project I’d envisioned for honoring our motherhood as loss mamas.

You see, this time of year is really hard for mothers like us. Mothers who hold our precious children in our hearts, instead of our arms. All the talk about “Mother’s Day this” and “Mother’s Day that”, it’s everywhere and it’s constant. And we almost always feel excluded, because our motherhood is unseen. Unrecognized publicly. Hidden away. “In the past”.

Feeling unseen as a mother cuts to our core. Because we know, for certain, that WE ARE STILL MOTHERS.

Our hearts beat for our children. Our lives revolve around thoughts and wishes for them. We live and breathe for them. They grew inside our bodies, and our hearts overflow with a never-ending love for them. If that’s not a being a mother, than I don’t know what is…

So, let’s take our place among all mothers. Let’s share what our version of motherhood looks like.

All throughout this  coming week, starting Sunday – Bereaved Mother’s Day (May 7, 2017) – and going though Mother’s Day (May 14th, 2017), we invite all loss mothers* to join us in honoring the motherhood we all share.

Take some time and think of the ways you still mother your child who died: maybe you read his favorite book every night before bed. Maybe you decorate her grave with special things you know she’d love. Maybe you hold your weighted bears and imagine for a moment they are with you, still. Maybe you eat his favorite snack, or sing her favorite song, or light a candle in their memory.

How ever you mother your child who died, share that mothering with us!

If you need some ideas, check out my post about Mothering Your Baby After Loss, on our sister-site, Still Standing Magazine.

To participate, all you need to do is take a photo of yourself being a mama to your child who died, and share it! You can post it in the comments below, you can post it on our wall, you can send it to our inbox. Or, better yet, you can share it on your own social media sites, using the hashtags #stillmothering, #thisisstillmotherhood, and/or #wearestillmothers. (And be sure to send us links to your blog if you write about your experience as a loss mom who’s still mothering her child after death.)

We can’t wait to see all the beautiful mothers who are #stillmothering their children.

And I hope, with all my heart, that as you share your mothering with the world, you feel like the mother you are.

Love,

Samuel’s mom

*Since this is a resource for loss mothers with no living children, we do ask that any photos you share for this project don’t include living children. This project’s about YOU, being a mother to your child who died. Because motherhood doesn’t end with death: We are STILL mothers. 

RaeAnne Fredrickson
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RaeAnne Fredrickson is mama to Samuel Evan, who was carried to birth with all her love, after receiving a fatal diagnosis early in pregnancy. She is the creator, co-founder, and Editor of Still Mothers. She is the founding owner of All That Love Can Do, a resource for families who continue pregnancy after a fatal diagnosis. She is a contributing author of Still Standing Magazine, and All That Love Can Do, and her own blog, The Love We Carry. Her story is featured in Still Standing: Because They Lived and "Invisible Mothers". She is married to her faithful husband, Bryan. She speaks openly about life and loss, the joy of carrying her son, and the heartache of living without him. She believes no one should have to face a life of loss alone.

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