A Still Mothers Valentine’s Day

Today we celebrate the love we hold in our hearts for our precious children. A love that’s stronger than death; a love that never ends.

On behalf of all of us here at Still Mothers, we wish you a gentle day filled with love and memories of the sweet little Valentines we miss with all of our hearts <3.

From our hearts to theirs:

*****

By Lori Davis

Dear Elliot,

Daddy and I have always kept our Valentine’s Day celebrations low key. I supposed we’ll carry on our tradition of exchanging cards and making a nice dinner at home.

Together last Valentine’s Day: Mommy, 35 weeks pregnant with you, Elliot, and Coco.

Only this year, we have so much more to celebrate. YOU, my sweet girl.

You have filled our hearts with so much love.

If I had to choose just one word to describe you, it would be love. If I had to choose just one word to describe what you’ve taught me, it would be love.

If had to choose just one word to describe our relationship, it would be love. You are my definition of love. When I see your name, E-l-l-i-o-t, all I can think of is love. In my world, Elliot = love. Pure, unconditional love.  

Baby girl, I wish you the happiest Valentine’s Day in Heaven!

I’m sending you the biggest hugs and kisses. In my mind, I have given you the same hugs and kisses a million times, every day since I said goodbye to you. And I will give them to you a million times, every day, until we meet again. I feel your hugs and kisses, too.

Thank you for being with me always. Thank you for loving me as much as I love you. Thank you for being my forever valentine and letting me be yours.

Love, Mommy
(by Lori Davis)

*****

by Alex Hopper

Dear Cyrus,

I can’t believe it’s been another year without you.

I feel like I’m in the bottom of the hourglass, with the sands of time continuously pouring over me – burying me further, with each new day, a constant reminder that you’re far away. It can become so overwhelming, feeling like I can never catch my breath, before the sand begins to suffocate me again.

This is how it feels without you here.

But in a way you are here. And not just in the cheesy way that people say you’ll always be in my heart, like a memory or a feeling. You are still here, because I am still here, and you are so much a part of me.

As I look down at the keyboard, I see your hands. When I put on my make-up, I see your eyes. When I hold your dad’s hand, I am holding your hand. And as my heart beats, so does yours, because at a cellular level you are still here within me.

That is the power of love. True love.

end of time

True love is not a coerced marriage, accidental parenthood or cheap red roses as so many people believe. True love is a little boy who only lived an hour outside the womb. True love is carrying a baby you know will not live. True love is giving them every chance you can, no matter the cost, heartache and pain. True love is knowing you would do it all over again… just to see their face, touch their hand, or kiss their head one more time. True love makes waiting a lifetime possible.

And though the sand continues to fall, I know I am closer to you now than I ever have been, and I am one day closer to seeing you again.

I love you son, so much.

*****

by Chloë Sóleyjarmóðir

Hey sunshine,

Thanks for being my valentine!

You know I loved you from the start, baby girl. From the day I learned you were growing inside me. Before there was a heartbeat, before there was anything really. You were all of two weeks and I was in love already. Okay, and a bit anxious too. But that’s the way it is with love, right ?Soley_love

I know I was chosen to be yours, though I can’t quite explain it. Some people say babies pick their parents from heaven before they’re born. I don’t know if you found me, and how you did that. But you lived 9 months inside of me and then, for 11 months – my heart, outside my body.

And every single day, you picked me, and I picked you.

I never knew that kind of love before. There were some boys, of course. There was your dad, whom I loved so much you came to us. There was passion, and kisses so sweet you can’t stop. There were friends and family. But our love was made from another clay. Our love was the one they quote in the bible. You know the words – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. And there were never any wrongs between us.

Soley_love_2There was no disappointment, no betrayal, no fights. And there was no need for you to speak, for me to hear you.

My sunshine, I’m not done missing you. I cry just like the first day. But that’s okay. That means I’m not done loving you. Because you’re still my dream came true.

Nothing could change that, not even cancer, not even death.

Happy Valentine’s day, my little soul mate.

You’re still my number one. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

 

*****

by Lindsay Steel

Desmond,

Always on my mind, forever in my heart, together in spirit for eternity.

Desmond

Desmond Feet

Happy Valentines Day my sweet baby boy ♡

*****

by Andrea Manning

For my Littlest Valentine,

On this day, this holiday that is an ode to love, I can’t help but think of you. The love that went into wishing for you, creating you and all the love I felt carrying you.

I viscerally remember the wave of joy and love that swept me, when I looked at the positive pregnancy test.

I remember the new feeling around my heart, the shine of my eyes and realizing that everything would be different from this moment on. Every idea of love changed, the minute you made me your mom.

When your Dad would kiss my bump and talk to you through my belly, that was love. All of his dreams for you, were built from love.

They say grief is the price of love; and it’s one I’m willing to pay.

You are worth grieving. You are worth the tears.

Thank you, for filling my heart. Thank you, for teaching me about the very different and deep kinds of love.

Thinking of you, with love, this Valentine’s day.

*****

by Éva Zsák

A message of eternal love, to you, my sweet little Peter. heart in sandYou have given me a whole new world, showing me horizons and perspectives I could not even think of. I am truly blessed that I am you mom. I wish I could have been, I could be a better one.

I miss you each and every day even though you are here with me each and every day. I love you so very much. All I am today, all I can ever be is because you came into my life. I feel so much pain that we can’t be together. I just hope you are proud of me and thank you for choosing me to be your mother.

Loving you eternally, mom <3

*****

by Maureen Schaefer

My sweet babies, I miss you more than mere words can ever express. I imagine every day what it would be like to have you here with me, but especially on holidays, your absence fills my thoughts. Every holiday is a bitter reminder of another year without you. I imagine picking out candy for you, helping you pick out Valentine’s Day cards for your friends, and comforting you through that teenager angst of feeling like you are the only one alone on Valentine’s Day.

I hope you know that I love you now and always.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

*****

by RaeAnne Fredrickson

My sweet little love, Samuel,

Mama loves you with all of her heart!

I wish you a day filled with loves and kisses and hugs. How I long to be the one giving them to you! One sweet day, my little bunny, I will be there with you, and from that moment on, I’ll never let you go.

You are my special little guy. My sweetest Valentine. My one little love, forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Mama and daddy love you, now and always.

keep inside my heart

RaeAnne Fredrickson
Latest posts by RaeAnne Fredrickson (see all)

Written by 

RaeAnne Fredrickson is mama to Samuel Evan, who was carried to birth with all her love, after receiving a fatal diagnosis early in pregnancy. She is the creator, co-founder, and Editor of Still Mothers. She is the founding owner of All That Love Can Do, a resource for families who continue pregnancy after a fatal diagnosis. She is a contributing author of Still Standing Magazine, and All That Love Can Do, and her own blog, The Love We Carry. Her story is featured in Still Standing: Because They Lived and "Invisible Mothers". She is married to her faithful husband, Bryan. She speaks openly about life and loss, the joy of carrying her son, and the heartache of living without him. She believes no one should have to face a life of loss alone.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.