Dear Invisible Mother,

You are a beautiful mother. It takes bravery and courage and profound love to mother a child you cannot see or hold or touch.

You are strong. Whether you feel strong or not, you are. Even when you are on your knees in tears. Even when you wish you could have just left this earth with your baby. Even when the best you can do is simply dragging yourself out of bed. Even in your darkest moments, you are strong.

It takes strength to mother as we do. To love that which we cannot see or touch is beauty in action. To love beyond death is magnificent.

You are magnificent.

If you are a new or newish mother, know that there is a light beyond this aching darkness. You probably can’t see that light yet and you don’t have to. I am here holding that light for you. There are many of us here, having lived what you are living. You don’t have to know the way. We know it for you.

Just take one step, and then another.
When you can’t take a step, it’s ok to crawl.
When crawling is too much, it’s ok to take a rest.
You will find your way through this darkness of grief and loss and pain.
There is no rush to this journey.

They are your baby for always. You are a mother for life.

Not even death can take that away.

You love, beautiful mother. You love hard and fierce and deeply. This is your greatest gift. Your love will carry you through this deepest sorrow.

Your love will become your light.

Love on, sweet mother, and love always.

The preceding is an excerpt from the book, Invisible Mothers: When Love Doesn’t Die. The book is currently available in print format at Invisible Mothers.

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Emily Long

Emily Long is the mother of two much-loved daughters, both gone-too-soon. Several months after the death of her fiancé, their daughter Grace was born still. For many years, Emily lived with this loss in silence and isolation. It wasn’t until she experienced the death of her second daughter, Lily, that she finally sought support and created a community of people who helped her find the beauty and joy in life again. Through her own healing process, Emily became an advocate for all families grieving the loss of their children. Emily is a grief counselor in private practice and the author of the upcoming book, “Invisible Mothers.”

Emily works hard to increase education and improve care for bereaved mothers with medical professionals and other counselors. She also works with clients individually to provide support for grieving mothers and fathers. She writes and educates through her website, Emily Long: Archaeologist of the Living.

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