Dear Cyrus

Dear Cyrus,

Today marks 2 years since I’ve seen your sweet face. Two years that we’ve been separated by time and space. To say that I miss you is understatement. You are missing from me. And yet somehow you are a part of me. You are in every breath I take. You are in every thought. Your soul has been intertwined with mine. Your existence forever a part of mine.

And though you aren’t here physically. I still see you. I see you in shining sun. I see you in the colors painted across the sky. I see you in your dad’s smile. I see you in the feathers that fall to the ground. I see you in stars. I see you in the mirror. I see you in my own eyes.

angel cloud

And although I can’t touch you, I still feel you. I feel your presence in the dark of the night. I feel your love when I am all alone. And oh how I feel your absence. I’ll never used to the absence of you. I’ll never get used to me without you.

Then there’s the love. The love I feel for you. Just as there’s no way to explain the pain of missing you, there’s no way to explain the joy of loving you. No collection or arrangement of words can accurately describe. It is a love that exists in every cell of my body. It is a love that continues to grow, a love that cannot be contained. And I won’t contain it. I’ll love you today and I’ll love you everyday until I am with you again.

Love,

Mommy

Alex Hopper
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Alex Hopper is a freelance writer living in North Carolina. She has been happily married to Trent for 7 years. Their son, Cyrus, was diagnosed with a rare fatal birth defect at their 12 week ultrasound. They chose to fight for his life and to carry him with love for as long as they could. He was born on November 25, 2013 at 33 weeks and lived for a precious 1 hour and 9 minutes. They are heartbroken that he is gone but thankful for his life and know that he will never be forgotten. He is their only child. Now Alex chooses to write openly and honestly about her grieving process and hopes that her words will help others feel less alone. She created and writes at Hope in the Heartache, and is a writer for All That Love Can Do.

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