When you are a Still Mother, there are many situations and circumstances that are VERY difficult. If you ever feel the need, it is okay to:

1. Unfollow or Hide a fellow baby loss mom when she becomes pregnant or gives birth to her healthy baby.
2. Do various things that typically only moms and dads of living children do. Examples: Pictures with Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Characters, celebrate your baby’s birthday with a party, purchase you baby a toy/outfit/something special, professional family pictures, baby scrapbook, family vacation pictures, etc.
3. Tell people how many children you have regardless if it makes them uncomfortable.
4. Politely correct people when they tell you that you will have another baby because of your health/youth.
5. Celebrate the traditional Mother’s Day (and the traditional Father’s Day!). You ARE a MOTHER too!
6. Assert yourself and declare that you are a Mother.
7. Share pictures, memories, thoughts, etc. about your baby(ies) publicly.
8. Cry, be upset, and express your emotions (in a healthy way) when you see pregnancy announcements and babies born alive and healthy.
9. Not attend or plan baby showers. Even if it has been years since your loss. Even if it’s a family member or friend.
10. Not want another baby or more children except for the baby(ies) you lost.
11. Take something that belonged to or reminds you of your baby(ies) to various places you go. Examples vacation, holiday get-togethers, etc.
12. Not attend various events and holiday get-togethers where there will be many families with living children.
13. Take some time out to take care of and solely focus on you.
14. Excuse yourself from conversations about pregnancies and living babies.

Have you done any of the things we’ve listed? Are there any other ways that we haven’t included that you do to protect your heart and mother your baby as a Still Mother?

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Heather Kimble

Heather Kimble lives in the Philadelphia area. She is married to her best friend, Jason Kimble, and is mommy to Hannah Sue Kimble. Hannah is her only child. Heather carried Hannah after receiving a fatal diagnosis and was told to terminate based on the serious risk to her own personal health. She doesn't believe in termination and chose to carry Hannah with love. Hannah passed away and was born sleeping on December 23rd, 2013. Heather and Jason treasure every moment they had with Hannah during pregnancy and after delivery.

Heather is the Co-Founder and President of the 501(c)(3) non-profit Hannah’s Heart and Love. Hannah’s Heart and Love was inspired by their daughter Hannah to help others and to help break the silence of baby loss. She is also a contributing author for All That Love Can Do.

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