I was 26 when I lost my only child. My precious daughter Hannah Sue. I quickly learned losing a baby can affect anyone regardless of age, race, social status, wealth, etc. I also quickly learned that people just assume that since I’m “young” I can just have another baby easily…

I struggle with unexplained infertility. I have struggled with infertility since I was 23. My husband and I conceived Hannah three and a half years after stopping birth control. Hannah was our surprise and is our miracle baby. After receiving a fatal in utero diagnosis and losing Hannah my world was completely crushed and my heart was shattered. I longed to hold her and longed to have another baby to fill my arms. I had to wait three months after delivering Hannah to try again (due to having an emergency classical caesarean section). Seriously?! THREE MONTHS?! That felt like an eternity, but now I realize it was good for me mentally to not rush into trying again right after Hannah’s loss and birth.

I really thought I would be able to get pregnant again fairly quickly after my husband and I started trying again. I became a mother naturally… so why can’t it happen again? I was tracking my ovulation… that practically guarantees getting pregnant… doesn’t it? I’m young and healthy… because that’s all it takes right to become pregnant? Every cycle was just a disappointing reminder it’s simply not that easy for me. After tracking my ovulation and taking progesterone for the past year, I’m back to the unexplained infertility category at the age of 28. I know it’s not impossible, but I also know it’s not something that I’m guaranteed, regardless of my age.

To all the Still Mothers who hear those words, “At least you’re young” or any variation, I’m sorry. I know it’s frustrating, annoying, and rude among other things, but I can tell you it’s coming from a good place. People are desperately trying to give us hope. Know it’s 100% okay to politely correct them. You don’t need to get into the details of your journey if you don’t want to, just simply say, “My age doesn’t mean I can become pregnant again. There’s much more to my story and situation.”

To all those who say those words, “At least you’re young” or any variation, please don’t anymore. You’re trying to give us hope for the future, but the harsh reality is many of us struggle with infertility and for various reasons may never have any living children. Our youth doesn’t guarantee pregnancy for us. Our age is insignificant in our infertility struggle. Simply listening and saying the words “I’m sorry” means so much to us.

So here I am. Five years of unexplained infertility and one daughter who passed away. I wish I could see into my future, even if only a glimpse. But since I can’t, I will keep my faith in God, mother a child who passed away, and try to enjoy my life as best as I can.

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Heather Kimble

Heather Kimble lives in the Philadelphia area. She is married to her best friend, Jason Kimble, and is mommy to Hannah Sue Kimble. Hannah is her only child. Heather carried Hannah after receiving a fatal diagnosis and was told to terminate based on the serious risk to her own personal health. She doesn't believe in termination and chose to carry Hannah with love. Hannah passed away and was born sleeping on December 23rd, 2013. Heather and Jason treasure every moment they had with Hannah during pregnancy and after delivery.

Heather is the Co-Founder and President of the 501(c)(3) non-profit Hannah’s Heart and Love. Hannah’s Heart and Love was inspired by their daughter Hannah to help others and to help break the silence of baby loss. She is also a contributing author for All That Love Can Do.

Latest posts by Heather Kimble (see all)

• Instead - September 11, 2015
• 18 Things I’ve Learned - August 3, 2015
• I Don’t Want Your Hope - July 17, 2015